Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Confessions of...The Closet Quilter

When did this world become a confessional?   Reality (?) TV makes it look normal!  Blogs, Twitter, and especially Facebook give us all multiple opportunities each day to join the line at the confessional booth, maybe with a dim hope of feeling better after we expose our faults and fantasies to the world.

I have many faults and failings, so now it is my turn.

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned...

Me:  Sometimes, I buy clothes just so I can cut them up.
     Priest:  So you like to shred your clothes?  Why would you do that?
Me:  No, I buy the clothes because the fabric is so cool, I want to use it in a piece of artwork or a quilt.  Or make pillows out of it.  Or just have it.  But I don't really want the clothes.
     Priest:  You don't want the clothes?  So why do you buy them?
Me:  To. Cut. Them. Up.
     Him:  Yes, You have established that.  But they are clothes - you can't wear them if you cut them up.
Me:  I know, and I feel really guilty when I do it, but I just can't stop.  Like the other day- I ruined this beautiful dress so I could use the fabric to make a pot holder.

     Him:  A POTHOLDER?
Me:  You know, the thing to protect your hands from hot pans?
     Priest: (muttering) You have a problem...
Me:  That's why I'm here...  I have fewer and fewer clothes in my closet, and more and more scraps in my scrap bag.  Yesterday I cut up a beautiful linen skirt to make this change purse...

     Him:  That fabric is faded.  Did you wear it a lot?
Me:  Yes, it was my favorite skirt for years, but it was wildly out of style, and -
     Him:  And you cut it up!
Me:  I do have a problem, don't I?  Hey, is that cassock cotton or rayon?
     Him:  Hmm... I have been wearing this black robe for years - why do you ask?
Me:  I wonder... Let's cut it up.... I'll make you something!
     Him:  You don't need absolution, you need a 12 step program...


vivian said...

I feel better about that green silk dress -with the tags still on it and missing a sleeve -that I have hidden in the back of my closet!!!

Connie Rose said...

Very funny!

Victoria said...

Ah... maybe in reality you should be in line for sainthood due to your thrifty recycling ways!

Donna Becker said...

What a hoot! Confession IS good for the soul. So is laughter. Thanks for both!

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